Cervix news

Well the 2 months of not temping have been very relaxing in some ways, but unnerving in other ways.

Its nice not waking up and temping every single effing morning. It's nice not to have my fertility crap be the FIRST thing on my mind every morning. It's NOT been nice though - not knowing for sure if I've ovulated or not. Or when I've ovulated. And guessing what the time is.

Especially this month with my patches of ewcm and pain (which I assume to be ovary) on my right hand side this month.

The pain has me a bit worried. Last time I asked doc about it they pretty much shrugged it off. Figuring it was just my ovary being all irritated and such after/during ovulation. Of course my paranoid hypochondriac brain didn't like not having a concrete answer or their seemingly flippant attitude.

I've continued to ruminate.

This weekend was filled with random stabs of pain - very low on the right hand side. Same stabbing and dull throb in the same spot whenever my bladder got too full and when I emptied it. Also with bowel movements. Kinda freaks me out but it's not excrutiating or anything. I figure if I pass out from the pain or I start screaming uncontrollably then that's the time for Tim to drag me off to the urgent care facility. :P Until then though I'm just going to mew pathetically and wait for my ovary to explode. (I'm kidding - I'm not *really* waiting for it to explode.. well sort of but not *REAAAALLLLLYY* heh.)

Life goes on. If I never get pregnant - my life will go on. There are moments when the pain of disappointment is crushing, but I get through it - somehow.... usually after shedding a few tears and raising my fist to the skies.

I'm normal. Really I am. :P